What I Told My Husband Last Night..
Relationships | March 10, 2016
Last night I was laying in bed getting ready to turn out the lights, when I felt it on my heart to tell my husband a few reasons why I love him. I’m convinced that when this happens God is telling me, “Hey Saz, I know you’re busy and all but it’s time to check into reality girl..” This isn’t the first time I’ve done this or the last time, but it’s been a while since we’ve had a cozy ‘pillow talk’ conversation.
When all of my married friends told us, “After you get married, you’re in for a real treat..”, I never knew what that meant. Were they being sarcastic?
I started reading Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages and it really fed my mind with some great knowledge and actionable wisdom (in ways that really do work). Whether you’re married, dating, or single – it’s a great read. After the first chapter, I was amazed by all of the things I didn’t know about relationships. Trust me, I’ve experienced toxic heart-breaks that taught me what NOT to look for in a man. Life experiences will always teach us a great deal, but it shouldn’t stop there. I love reading books that go beyond the “being in love” phase.
I finished the book in a week. I was fascinated by all of the different love languages, what they meant, and most importantly – figuring out our love languages. Note: They’re not always the same!
Our one year wedding anniversary is coming up and I can’t believe we’re hitting the mark. ONE WHOLE YEAR!!! We’ve already started looking back on some incredible high moments and of course the lows. 😉 My friends and I were talking and we all agreed that sometimes it’s easier to point the finger at your lover, telling them all the things you can’t stand about them versus taking the time to praise them. It takes practice and you get better the more you try it.
A few things I told my husband last night
I love that you’re my best friend…
I love that you’re always coming up with fun date nights..
I love how you serve God and others (he led bible study at our house last week and he did such a great job!)…
You’re the best manager I’ve ever had…
You’re the funniest person I know…
I love that you’ve been an incredible handy-man around the home (I’ll never forget when he built me a closet!!)
I really took my time with my words and I noticed his face lit up more and more with every praise! I meant every word, and it made me feel good to see him feeling good. Not going to lie – I haven’t always been the greatest at this. I grew up in a family where everyone knew they loved each other and didn’t need to say it around the dinner table every night. lol. However, I’ve learned it’s just as important to vocalize love as often as showing it. Plus, words of affirmation are the best! (especially if that’s your love language.. 😉
Stevie and I both agree that we want to water our relationship forever. For us, being in love is just the seed. Seeking wisdom and communicating every step of the way has helped us keep the love alive. 😉 I’m excited to see what we’ll learn next! Year 2, we’re ready for you.
Before I go, I have to share the story behind this black and white photo above. This was from a shoot I did over 3 years ago with my talented photographer friend Michelle. Stevie and I were just dating at the time and I convinced him to be the “fake groom” for this engagement shoot she wanted me to model. I remember thinking that day, “How hilarious would it be if we ACTUALLY got married.” At the time, I didn’t see that being a possibility because of all the cultural barriers and obstacles I was trying not to face. I thought, “I will lose my family. It’s impossible.” Looking back at this photo years later I’m teary when I say, “Wow. We did it.” It symbolizes so much more now than at the time -Stevie holding a champagne bottle and me pretend laughing. LOL! Ironically, we didn’t take any engagement photos (I know! I’m crazy!) so it’s nice to have these photos that were just a fake scenario turn out to be a real fairytale.
I was thinking about adding a “relationships” category to my blog and sharing more stories/content. What do you think?