The Best Advice I Can Give About Self-Love

Relationships


Hey guys! Let’s talk about L.O.V.E. Not just any kind of love, but one of the most important kinds of love there is, aka SELF-LOVE. Today I want to give you the best advice about self-love.
 
Earlier this week, I spotted this quote by Lucille Ball: “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” Can I get an amen?! But seriously, I love that quote. Sometimes it is so easy to pour our love into others, without realizing that we are not feeding ourselves that same love. Something I have learned over the years is that self-love is something that I have to conscientiously practice each and every day. The moment I began to practice the art of self-love is the very moment I began to receive love in my life in every form imaginable.
 
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I grew up in a very loving household, which also meant that my parents believed in encouraging us with a little thing called tough love. I can recall one day when I came home from school (I believe I was in 6th grade) with an A- report card. The first thing out of my dad’s mouth was, “Why is it an A- and not an A+?” I think this definitely played a role in my fixation on the negative things before seeing the positive things. Stevie’s family dynamic, on the other hand, looked a little more like this. Instead of tough love, he heard things like, “I’m proud of you” or “You will do great next time”. That must explain part of the reason Stevie is the type of person who will find the good in everything and celebrate no matter what. He’s really played a part in helping me focus on the positives in my life.
 
Loving yourself to Here is my personal prescription for Self-Love:
 
1. Mindfulness! Be aware of what you are thinking, feeling, saying as often as you possibly can. When you catch yourself focused on the negative, acknowledge it and turn your focus onto something positive. When you are mindful of your own thoughts, feelings, and words, you begin to focus on yourself and not on the perception of others of you.
 
2. Comparison is the thief of joy – DON’T DO IT! Look up to others without bringing yourself down. It stems back to being mindful of when you are comparing yourself to someone else. If I ever catch myself comparing, I immediately stop and feed myself some positivity, which leads me to the next point.
 
3. Positive affirmations – aka your new best friends! Something that I find to be helpful is writing down positive affirmations about myself on sticky notes and posting them on my bathroom mirror. Positive affirmations are what I like to call food for the soul. Just like a good breakfast fuel you up to start the day right, positive affirmations will fuel your mind and spirit and will set the tone for the day.
 
4. Self-care is NOT selfish! Take care of yourself – mind, body, and soul. You are of no use to others if you are not caring for yourself first and foremost. Self-care can be practiced through things like exercising, meditating, getting enough sleep, diet, etc. Devote some time each day to yourself!
 
5. Eliminate toxicity in your life. It’s this simple…if it isn’t nourishing your mind, body, or soul, get rid of it!
 
6. Learn to forgive yourself. As humans, we are our own worst critics. We are not built to be perfect. We make mistakes. Use each opportunity, good or bad, to grow. Sometimes we just need to stop and remind ourselves that we are human…aka practicing mindfulness once again! Be gentle with yourself.
 
7. Don’t forget to fall in love with yourself first. No one will ever make you a complete person except yourself. Learn to love who you are. Embrace who you are. When you have an unconditional love for yourself, others can sense it. No healthy relationship is built to stand on an incomplete foundation.
 
8. Live your life with purpose! Set goals for yourself and challenge yourself. I cannot think of time when I did not feel good after accomplishing a goal or overcoming a challenge. If you continuously set goals for yourself and work hard to achieve them, you will develop an appreciation and respect for yourself that no one else can give you.
 
Hope you enjoyed today’s relationships post about self-love. I would love for us to try an exercise in the comments section together. Share 3 things you love about yourself. Here are mine: 1.) I am the hardest worker I know, 2.) I love my ability to make others laugh, 3.) I love my long legs! Your turn 😉
 


 
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Xoxo, Sazan


Sazan
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  1. I love this! Very true what you have written and I feel reading books about mindfulness can also help and encourage self love as we sometimes forget how to love ourselves xx

  2. With all respect, this idea of self-love is the complete opposite of Jesus’ commandment to deny oneself. Consumer culture is obsessed with preaching self-love, but Jesus preached dying to self. When we do that, we set aside all self interest and self-centerdness and focus more and more on being servants for Christ. Our own interests and concerns no longer consume us, and we learn to find contentment through Him and in Him. Of course, as Christians, this is challenging to do, but loving Christ first and above anything brings infinite more freedom than loving ourselves or anything else. I really recommend listening to A Daily Walk podcasts by pastor John Randall. He has addressed this topic several times and will probably to a much better job in explaining it than me.

    Blessings through Christ

    1. I think you’re mis-interpreting this post. God gives each and every single one of us the power to LOVE – to love others and to love ourselves. He also gives us a free will to make our own decisions. This post was about choosing to live a positive, healthy and self-loving life. It’s not meant to be narcissistic or ego-centric. The last thing God would want is for us to hate ourselves and not celebrate the beautiful things about ourselves thatHe created. Psalm 139:14 “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.”

      1. That Lucille Ball quote is one of my favorites. I used to struggle with the dichotomy of sacrifice/”laying down one’s life for friends” as well in my youth. We are made in the image and likeness of God and His Spirit dwells within us. Therefore, I wholeheartedly believe self-love IS putting God first. It is when we honor God (Who is Love itself) within us are able to be His instruments without. We cannot give what we do not have ourselves.

      2. Christ said love your neighbor as yourself…don’t ignore that last part. You can’t love others if you don’t love yourself!
        -much love through Christ 🙂

  3. Great idea, Sazan 🙂
    1) I love my ability to motivate people especially when it comes to Tennis and team matches

    2) I love beeing able to truely feel happy for others

    3) I love my sense of humor

  4. This is EVERYTHING! Thank you for taking the time to write this. It’s definitely easier said than done but everything you said is very true 🙂

  5. Saz! You are my inspiration and motivation for how to become an elegant, hardworking, and loving woman!I’m 19 and juggling with the transition into young adulthood and you are an amazing role model for me. Thank you for sharing yourself with us, you’re a gift! Love, Chris

  6. I love this!!! It took me until about the age of 30 to really know who I was and how to love myself. It is not selfish, it is imperative to live a truly happy life!

    I love my kind heart, my big booty and my witty personality! ♥️

  7. L.O.V.E this post! Definitely needed a reminder to accentuate the postive and elminate the negative things in my life, thank you(:
    Ok… so here are the three things I love about myself: 1) my determination to keep trying esp after I fail 2) my ability to empathize with others 3) my strong jawline

  8. You’re the best Sazan! Your pretty much the only blogger I follow because I love your values and your relationship with your husband. It reminds me of my own relationship with my husband. So quirky and fun but loving. Side note I saw the Indian clay mask with the apple cider next to it at the store and I remembered you and bought it today. Just used it and I love it! They were selling the big jug at HEB for 10.00! Anyways love your posts and your blogs! You inspire me to go after my entrepreneurial dreams of wanting to open my own bakery here in Houston and be the best worship leader I can be. Keep doing what your doing! God bless everything you do!

    Blessings,
    Marissa N. F

  9. 1) I love my want and desire to help my students succeeed
    2) I love my ambition even if it’s been on hold for years as a mom–I still have it and hopefully will do something with it one day
    3) I love that I’m honest and empathetic

  10. Love this Sazan! It’s so true. You need to love yourself before you love others, because what do you expect to give to others if you’re empty?

  11. I love my desire to be great, and my willingness to achieve, I love that I’m a dreamer and believe that I can change and become my best self! I love my sense of style, I love my strength and ambition ❤🌹🌹❤

  12. I always tell my friends and family members that if you don’t love yourself how do you expect anyone else to?! Be confident, be bold, and be you!

  13. 1) I love how inconditional I am for people that I truly care about.
    2) I love the persistency I hold onto to succeed and reach my goals
    3) I love my arms (:

    Ps. I hope to one day enjoy a relationship as healthy as yours and Stevie ! Love you guys ❤️

  14. Sounds a lot like a book I have been reading, “self compassion: the proven power of being kind to yourself” by Dr. Kristen Neff. It’s a good book and it is everything your are saying and has great exercises too!

  15. Hey love!
    Couldn’t have been any better timing to post this than now! This June gloom in LA has got me all depressed! Thank you for the nice reminder of Self Love and again sharing something so common in eastern cultures. As a Pakistani immigrants’ daughter; your courage of sharing your own stories have lifted my spirit up and helped me accept my background.
    You rock Sazan! My inspiration!Bless! Xoxo

  16. This post of yours is really very motivating and encouraging. Self-love is something which everybody must practice. My mother says “if you cant love yourself, celebrate yourself, how can you expect the world to do that for you”.We need to love ourselves just the way we are. 😊

  17. Well here are 3 things that I love about myself
    1. I’m positiv. Always looking through pink glasses.
    2. Like my smile
    3. I’m an open person
    Xo Ami

  18. Lovely words. You didn’t take it to a super spiritual level so I would say it’s mostly spot on for how you meant it. I think most of #5 is true but can’t really justify everything (if you have a toxic parent, you can set boundaries but still need to respect them, ect ect). However, for the intent and purposes of this blog, very uplifting post.

  19. Thanks for sharing this my gorgeous S!
    Many many congratulations to you on the great news! Can’t wait for baby Hendrix and December ‘cos I’m getting married then too. Yay! Anyway,
    3 Things I love about myself are-
    I’m effing amazeballs at executing stuff.
    I swear by to-do lists and always strive to get more things done with high productivity.
    My LIP! Gosh! I love my own LIP, haha.

    Love and light,
    A

  20. Beautifully written. I agree. I think some people are taking it out of line with putting God first.. we should.. but I believe the whole point of this is that we often times overlook ourselves and don’t realize our self-worth. We please others and love others, but in turn forget to love ourselves too. I get it!

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