Marriage Question: When Are You Having Kids?

Relationships


marriage, relationships, dating, advice, stevie, sazan, married, wedding, photography, jon volk
 
One question you guys often ask (especially lately!) is when Stevie and I will have kids. By the looks of this photo it must be time, right? Not so fast….
 
Girl Talk (Boys skip this part): When we were in New York last week something felt different. I noticed I was a few days late – but that’s normal when I travel. What I couldn’t understand was why I started spotting. That never happens to me. I somehow convinced myself I was pregnant and told Steve the news. Stevie looked at me like God knows how many times when I’ve cried baby. lol! Later that night, we were in a cab heading to see Aladdin on Broadway (so fun btw!!) and Steve said, “Is it weird that I wouldn’t be disappointed?” I was confused for a second because I totally forgot I was “pregnant.” When we got back to the hotel later that night — my period arrived, fashionably late of course. ha!
 
I couldn’t get what Stevie said off my mind. It’s still on my mind. Are we ready? I definitely don’t have the answer to that, but for what it’s worth, here are 6 things I must do before we put a bun in the oven. See below…
 

  • 1. Live a little – I want to live life uninterrupted. Just me and Steve. For us that means more date nights, spontaneous surprises, lots of romance, and fun activities.
  • 2. Hang out with some Kids – I need to know what I’m getting into. Our best friends Josh and Misha have a 6 month old boy (HE’S THE CUTEST!!!!) so I think we need to play house. 😉
  • 3. Travel more (not for work) – Even though we travel all the time, it’s usually a work trip of some sort. Stevie and I decided before our Alaska trip that we wanted to plan a few more spontaneous trips before baby Hendrix.
  • 4. Grow up – Sometimes I feel like we’re still kids. There are a lot of areas in my life that I still need to conquer before hearing the word, “mommy!” Stevie too!
  • 5. Fitness Goals – maybe this is a selfish one, but I love my high intensity workouts. When I’m pregnant I know my vigorous cycling days will be over for 9 months. I’m so close to reaching my #bodygoals – I can’t stop now!
  • 6. Conquer my Fears & Learn Basic Things Like… – I don’t know how to ride a bike (like an actual bike! ahahha). Also if my feet can’t touch the bottom of a pool, consider me hanging out on the sidelines. I’ve always had a silly fear of water (especially being out in the middle of the ocean), but I want to conquer my fears before having kids. Stevie said he will teach me how to be like him. hehe


So no babies on the agenda for us anytime soon, but is there really a time stamp for when to have a baby? With my 27th birthday right around the corner, I wonder what God has in store for us. You just never know. xo!
 
P.S. 5 Things I’ve Learned about my Marriage 
 
P.S.S.! Our winner for the Freebie Friday NYFW Swag Bag (over $350 value AH!) is Steph0095! Congrats girl! Expect an email from my team soon 🙂
 
Photo credit: Jon Volk


Sazan
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  1. Aww This was such a great read. I’m 28 and don’t know if I will ever be ready but I want kids as well. I need a ring and a house first tho (can I get an Amen!?)

  2. If you love each other and obviously want to spend the rest of your life together, I don’t think it’s ever too soon except you never want to feel as if you didn’t really enjoy your youth because you had a baby too soon. You are still very young have a lot of time ahead of you so why the rush? But it’s always Gods timing, not yours so it will happen when it’s supposed to happen❤️

      1. I’m not married but have been with the same man for almost 5 years and if I so happened to get knocked up I would be overjoyed although not looking for babies right now lol so I feel like I’m in the same boat you are. Xoxo

  3. Love this post! We are kind of in the same boat. We can’t wait to have them, then we can wait. . . And I’m with you about the not being able to workout for 9months!!!ahhh!

    Like you said, God knows better than we do so if it happens, it happens and He has a plan and a purpose for it! His timing is always perfect.

    Love your posts!

    Xoxo

  4. Hi Saz ! I’m going through the same thing. I’ve been married 2 years I’m turning 27 and I still don’t feel ready. Its a little pressuring because people do ALWAYS ask but it’s okay because waiting to have kids isn’t a bad thing at all! I hope you and Stevie experience many more adventures together and that you both grow and learn many beautiful lessons to teach your future children. 💜 😊

  5. I support you, Sazan! When you feel like it’s time to start trying, then it will be time. You and Stevie have such a great and blessed life ahead of you no matter when you decide to have kids. Enjoy yourselves ❤️

  6. I can relate to so many points! I did everything backwards though. My now husband, Frank, and I had our son at 24. We got married at 25, and are buying our first house now at 29. When our son came into the picture, I was at the point in my career where it didn’t scare me and I was excited! But it took me a minute to get there. I had sworn off kids for years. I love kids but there was always that worry that something would always be a trade off especially between work and time with my hypothetical children. Not to mention my personal life. Like you, I didn’t know how to ride a bike or “really” swim. Unlike you, I hadn’t already traveled much. Lastly, I hadn’t had as much time as a couple before we became a family as I had planned. There is always some sort of plan for everyone though. The most amazing experiences have been with my son by my side. I learned how to ride a bike with him! I’ve become a much better swimmmer with him. I’ve started to travel with him and can’t wait to start taking him out of the country! My professional career has only blossomed thanks to the support of my family. In the meanwhile, my relationship with my husband has only strengthened as we live all of these first experiences together. There will never be the right time to have kids, but I promise when you do you’ll find there is a whole new world of experiences you had no idea you were missing out on!

    PS. Never grow up! That’s the secret to it all 😘

  7. Hey girl! Have loved following your blog-insta. I am completely in love with my husband and we have so much fun AND we have a baby! Well… Almost 5 year old now. It is amazing how much love you can have for your child. I am not really a kid person… But oh How I adore my child. If there is a brand new baby or toddler in the room, I am not one to go hold it or play with it…totally different when it’s yours. Promise! Also, they grow up so incredibly fast. It’s like someone pushed fast forward these last few years and I know it’ll go by so quickly and one day it will just be my husband and I at home to ourselves again. I am 25 and I love being a young mom! My body recovered from pregnancy and birth faster and I have all the energy to be and love on him! As for the workout thing. I also believe it’s wise to be in good shape before getting pregnant, but you def do not have to stop working out or “work out” less for 9 months. As for bod goals- have you seen Cara Loren? She’s had 2 and looks better than before! Totally possible girlfriend👊🏼. 25 and husband is 34 over here and we wouldn’t change having had a child for anything. It’s well worth it. The romance with your hubby will still be there (if not more) and the traveling might be a little more difficult, but take the baby with you and you will love the memories you make including them. The romance , dating, and fun. All still there. It’s just making it a priority. Always. Just some ramblings going on over here:). Basically just want to tell you, mom hood is the best. Seeing my husband be a dad makes me 😍😍😍😍. And having our mini us- a dream come true. Also- you may or may not get pregnant immediately. Took us 2 years and it’s been 4 years this time around 😬. We are both young and healthy too! As for the growing up part, that’s the fun in it… I hope we never grow up:).
    Xoxo
    Some random thoughts.
    Esme

  8. You’re never going to be ready! The busier we get and the more work we accumulate you’re always going to want more time for yourself, more time to travel, more time for date nights…but time does it’s thing, it flees. You’ll find that all you need is your love for eachother and let that love bring another awesome human into the world. Note: whatever your active lifestyle is up to 3 months before you become pregnant is perfectly fine to continue when you’re pregnant! Not a thing has to change! Talk to your lady doctor about these things, you’ll see you have one less “not yet” on your list 😉

  9. I got married at 22 my husband was 30. We waited 5 years before having a baby. Honestly everyone is different but I truly enjoyed traveling with my husband and accomplishing goals that I always wanted to do before I became a mom. I don’t regret waiting the 5 years. My daughter is 3 years old and is the absolute love of my life. Don’t worry about working out I did HITT workouts and ran a half marathon until 8 months pregnant. Take your time and really enjoy your marriage bc having kids changes everything. (For the better of course) 🙂

  10. I’m 25, and I have a 4 month old precious girl. My husband and I have been together 9 years and married for 2. I was pregnant a year and a half into our marriage. It wasn’t planned, and I honestly never wanted children. Now that we have our baby girl. I love her so much! The house is so quiet without her, and it feels like something’s missing. Things haven’t changed much for us. We still do dates, we’re still spontaneous, and we’re planning a vacation for the two of us next year. Life doesn’t have to stop because you have a baby. I was told by my doctor I couldn’t have children after several tests, but God had other plans. It’s truly all in His hands. Good luck!

  11. Take your time. Live your life first and enjoy your husband and each others company. I don’t think anyone is ever prepared for a baby even if it was a planned pregnancy. I’m 26 and have a two year old. You do sacrifice some stuff for a while but it gets easier in time. But seriously if it happens it happens. Travel and do what you want to accomplish first. But when the times comes I know both of you will be great parents and the best ones.

  12. I’ve been married 3 years and I don’t feel ready or grown enough! I’m the same way thiu I’ve panicked and told my husband I think I’m pregnant a couple of times! I love kids and I am excited to have anot entire soccer team like much hubby says but I don’t think we are ready yet 😅 definetly want to live a little more too and Im also scaredo water if I can’t touch the bottom that’s something I wanna get over before I can teach kids how to swim too!
    Thank you for sharing always enjoy your posts ☺

  13. I’ve been married 3 years and I don’t feel ready or grown enough! I’m the same way though I’ve panicked and told my husband I think I’m pregnant a couple of times! I love kids and I am excited to have an entire soccer team like my hubby says but I don’t think we are ready yet 😅 definetly want to live a little more too and Im also scared of water if I can’t touch the bottom that’s something I wanna get over before I can teach kids how to swim too!
    Thank you for sharing always enjoy your posts ☺

  14. Hi Sazan,

    I was the girl who said hi to you while you were online for the snacks at Aladdin. I completely understand you. I’m 29, I’m still in grad school. I don’t even have a ring yet. Sometimes I freak out because I’m almost 30, but part of me still wants to do me. I’ve realized everything is on God’s timing and I’ve left it to him

  15. THANK YOU!!!! I’m almost 27 as well, been married for 4 years, and the pressure never goes away. I was at a baby shower last weekend and I swear I was asked almost 10 times when we will be having kids. I felt the pressure, I felt almost guilty, and I got really down. There is so much more traveling I need to do before I test my patience level with a kid on a plane. Also, I have body goals too that I’m not ready to give up on to. 😉 Thanks for speaking out for the rest of us!

  16. This is a really good blogpost. 😘😊 It is a good thing to think of, but the best things come unplanned, and those are the best!
    I love you Sazan😘😘😘😘

  17. Hi Saz,
    Now here is another perspective for you. I got married at 24. We wanted to wait a few years before having babies but we always knew we wanted 4 so gave ourselves 2 years to get started. Little did we know getting preggers was not going to be easy for us. We actually lost our first pregnancy and I couldn’t get pregnant after that. I eventually did years later and we ended up only having two kids that I call my miracle babies because I have lost 4 in the quest to have a family. Sometimes what you have planned doesn’t always turn out the way you hoped for but in the end it’s all ok, and you have your soulmate to experience everything with. I am 36 and still feel like A kid btw! I don’t know if you will ever feel ready to have a kid, I never did, I stoll don’t at times lol. Kids are a ton of work, but I couldn’t see my life without them. Good luck to you and the hubby. I enjoy keeping up with your family. Xoxo Isela

  18. Sazan, my advice to you (as a 45 yr old mom of 2) is enjoy your time now with your hubby and enjoy your career! Children are a blessing and do of course complete your life but once they arrive, you will see how things do change. They are constantly on your mind and they truly come first in anything you do! Don’t let anything rush you. Make sure you are both ready at the same time! I pray you one day get the opportunity to have kiddie. Until then, just keep living and loving life!

  19. You are smallah a perfect couples and both love each other know each other for years traveled , did many stuff i told u I dreamt a 3 weeks ago that you r pregnant so
    Yes go for it we need new blogs about pregnancy since i am and u will be a great family and awesome mom love u sazan ❤️

  20. Sometimes in life, we seem to know what we want, but other times, the eyes of the Devine seems to have something else instore for us. It’s very good to have a goal and a plan set in place such as traveling, fulfilling the things we want to accomplished as a young couple before we settled down and become the voice of reasons to our young children.

    It’s a beautiful post, something we all have to face at one point or another in our lifetime. Whatever the decision or by the love of God, you two will be great little parents to your kids. You will instill lots of values and traditions. I can just see it! It’s gonna be a very wonderful thing! 🙂

    We’ll be looking out for that special day! 🙂

    For now, just have fun and enjoy life! 🙂

    La Bijoux Bella | by mia

  21. What an awesome post! I’m 35! (I still can’t believe that!) and have been married for 2 years, together for nearly 10! Kids are a huge decision not to be taken lightly and honestly when the time is right, the time will be right! Great post-enjoy your wonderful husband for a while and your beautiful life! And you two will make great parents someday!

  22. I love this post. Specially in christian couples there is a pressure to procreate due to the Genesis command to fill the earth. I believe is responsible to decide not to have kids yet if you dont feel ready or just want to enjoy your marriage. There is no rush and I think is healthy for couples to explore marriage without kids in the beginning years since it will create a stronger partnership.

  23. Really sweet of you to share an intimate detail of your life like this to all your readers ! Takes a lot f guts… But as they say you’ll be ready when you’re ready… Hope everything works out well for u guys :))
    Lots f love #snapchatfam
    Geetha

  24. I’m with you on this one Saz, not that my husband and I want kids for sure, but I don’t think anyone can 100% plan these things. We grow older, we change, our thoughts change, and mindsets. I’ve learned to never say never! Xo

  25. Hi Sazan!

    Hope you are well! Your friend Jonathan Volk took our pictures last week when we were in Cali! I’m probably one of your oldest followers (39!) but I enjoy your videos and not only do I think you are gorgeous, you and Stevie are super cute to watch.

    Just thought I would add my thoughts on your post since today my husband and I are celebrating our 10 year anniversary! We have known eachother for 15 years and were friends first, like you and Steve. We waited 4 years before having our son, Liam. We enjoyed it being just the two of us so much and we got to travel all over Europe and Asia. (Side note: highly recommend Thailand and Vietnam) We had a blast and our relationship grew deeper and deeper.

    Motherhood and parenting is a profound experience. It truly changes you forever but in a wonderful way. Our son just turned 6 and it flew by! He’s the greatest treasure of our lives. The adjustment of going from just the two of us to having this little person who demanded all of our attention was challenging but worth every moment. Your sleep will never be the same, your schedule will never be the same but more importantly, your heart will never be the same. It is truly a unique love that you have never felt before. When you are ready, you will know. What I would tell newlyweds like you is to soak up this time together, pursue your interests as a couple and as individuals. You are both young and women are having babies in their 30’s now. I think the more time you have to build on your relationship, the stronger your foundation will be as you become parents together. It is an amazing thing to experience with your partner. You will see them in a whole new light. In good ways hopefully 😉

    As for exercising during pregnancy, no need to stop! It is is the best thing you can do before, during and after your pregnancy. Have you checked out Hilaria Baldwin’s Instagram? She looks amazing and was active during all three of her pregnancies. Being a yoga teacher doesn’t hurt either. 😉 I worked out up until a few days before I gave birth and I had a great pregnancy and a smooth natural delivery (albeit hard)after 21 hours of labor. Convinced it was because I prepared my body. Remember pregnancy is not a “condition,” your body still wants to move, so keep on riding that bike girl! Even if it is inside. 😜

    Untimately only you and Steve will know when the right time is for you to start a family. Until then, enjoy being young and we all can’t wait to see what the future holds for you! 😘

    By the way your friend’s baby is one of the cutest and happiest baby I’ve ever seen!!!

  26. I’m 25 and we have two kids! My husband and I were so not ready to have kids, but I don’t think anyone ever is!and then it turns out to be the most amazing thing you ever had. If your worried about fitness it’s actually amazing how much you can stay in shape while pregnant!i felt better the day before I had my second than I did before I was pregnant. You guys are such a fun and beautiful couple! I know you guys will make great parents someday!seriously looking forward to the blog posts when you are!

  27. Loved that post, Im actually going through the same thing, I am kurdish and I am living with my french fiance, we are getting married next year and we feel like we need more time just togheter, us and noone else. We have been going trough so many thing with my family becouse they didn,t accept him for six years and finally we can get married next year and everyone are telling me to get pregnant direcly after the wedding. But I feel like we need more time for us, just us, we need to live and be happy and enjoy each other with dates, travels and much more before we get children. Almost all women in my family got children after the wedding and I dont wan,t to the same. It,s a little hard becouse they don,t understand why I don,t want to get pregnant direcly after the wedding, for them it,s a cultural thing and for me it,s my body and my life. I am not ready to share my body with anyone else right now and I know that bcouse I feel it when I am thinking about it. Thank you for your post Sazan, you are really my hero and I feel that it gives me power and energy to keep fight for who I am even that I am born kurdish and that I am a woman.

  28. Saz, thank you for this. As a 26 year old woman who just found out my closest friend and sister is having a girl today (yay!!!!) Pressure is through the freaking roof from not only my family but friends and co workers and even strangers. While I’m ecstatic for my sister (obviously! A baby girl to spoil and dress up :)) I find it so hurtful that women pressure other women to have kids once you reach your mid 20s.. I’ve been happily married for 6 years and still want time for just the two of us. So I say be selfish! It’s your life! And I know I’m going to follow my path and enjoy the ride. And maybe no one is ever really “ready” but what’s the harm in crossing off a few things off the bucket list first? Live and let live. Xoxxxx

  29. Sazan, I dont know if you’ll ever read this but I had to say you will NEVER feel ready for a baby. It will come when it needs to come. I learned this when my husband kept wanting a baby. He is 8 years older than me and he felt a lot more ready than I was. I kept making excuses (not saying yours are excuses) but they felt like they were when it came to me. I would say “I want to travel more, I am working out like crazy and I want to look right by next summer, I love the freedom of picking up and going whenever I want without any worries”. I always had an agenda for everything and wouldn’t see myself having kids until at least my 30’s. However, my husband just made it happen one day when I missed my birth control pill without any warning he just went for it. I ended up pregnant at 25 and had the baby at 26. It was the most AMAZING life changing experience ever and I wouldn’t trade it for any treasures this world has to offer. I am now 29 years old and am expecting my 2nd baby and we are beyond excited. If it wasnt for my husband I would still be procrastinating and still thinking of reasons why “I’m not ready for a baby” . The moral of the story is not to wait until you’re ready because you won’t be. Just let it come when it is meant to come, even of it means it happens tomorrow. For now just embrace every moment you and Stevie have. You guys are great and wish I could meet you someday. My husband and I watch your videos and we always say “you guys are a couple we wouldn’t mind double dating with” lol

  30. I have been confused by the same question for a time.And I have the same experience as you do!:)Get disappointed of course.But we still thank God after we get through these things.Good luck to both of us!
    lticonstruction.com

  31. Good for you for knowing that there are things you want to accomplish first! My husband and I have been married for over two years now and we get asked every single day when we are going to have kids. It’s almost crazy that people think that is a question that they need to ask! Everyone is different and at different stages in life. I know I personally have so many things I want to do before I can think of giving my love and attention to someone so completely. We have to live for ourselves in order to eventually give to someone else!

    xo Bryn
    http://www.waketonroad.com

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